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One of the things I get asked the most in relation to having a big family is whether I’m able to spend enough quality time with each of my kids. And my response to this question usually surprises people…
The thing is that no, I don’t really spend quality one-on-one time with each of my kids, or at least not in the way I assume people are implying when they ask me this question. I don’t regularly schedule specific outings or dates with one child at a time in an effort to give each of my kids my undivided attention. With five kids, there is simply not enough time in the day (or week or even month!) to do that. Also, more importantly, I value our time together as a family so much (and hope to instil that same joy for my kids), that I wouldn’t want to compromise family time for individual time with my kids — it wouldn’t feel natural for our family rhythm and routines.
Instead, I make sure to connect with my kids on an individual level throughout the day whenever I possibly can. I try to seize the moments when I happen to naturally be with just one of my kids, even if it’s a fleeting moment at the beach or wherever — in the car on the way to horse riding, running a quick errand to the grocery store, when I’m braiding the girls’ hair, when I’m hanging laundry on the line with one of the boys, reading a book before bed, brushing teeth, tying up laces, etc. There are tons of little moments throughout the day where I connect with each of my kids, and these moments are sufficient for us in terms of individual attention.
Instead of overthinking it too much, I often think about my childhood. Growing up in a big family, I never felt neglected by my parents; it wasn’t even something I thought about. I loved spending time with my siblings when my parents were busy or distracted, and loved being all together as a family when my parents were with us. As I’ve said before, I think one of the biggest benefits of having siblings is that you have to learn to share the attention — it’s a great lesson in resilience and managing expectations. I’ve always felt the advantage of having siblings outweighs any potential lack of parental attention I received as a child, and hopefully, my children will feel the same one day.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. If you have a big family, what is your policy with giving your kids one-on-one time? How do you make it work if it’s something you do prioritise? Is giving your kids enough one-on-one time a worry you have? Please share.
Courtney x
The post Do you carve out one-on-one time for each of your kids? appeared first on Babyccino Kids: Daily tips, Children's products, Craft ideas, Recipes & More.
