Ultrasound scans are a modern tool used to give us so much more information than previous generations of pregnant women had access to… but can scans give too much information away?! I have now had two pregnancies, and I always found the ultrasound scan to be both exciting and nerve racking. It is such an emotional time, filled with great anticipation and curiosity. I have friends (my age) who actively chose not to have an ultrasound while pregnant, and they are confident with that decision, whereas, I have other friends who have had every scan, blood test, and any other medical observation available to pregnant women done. I think I am somewhere in between the two extremes. I have never wanted to know the sex of our babies before they were born, yet we have always chosen to have scans, perhaps just so we could rest easily, and also because I loved seeing the little baby parts moving around.
When my mother and my mother-in-law were pregnant, it wasn’t common to have ultrasound scans in the US or the UK. You’d find out you were pregnant, the midwives or doctors would check heartbeats, etc, and then you’d hope for the best. So when I was pregnant with Beatrice, four years ago, I asked my mother-in-law if she wanted to join us for our 20 week scan appointment. She had had three kids herself, and four grandchildren, yet this would be her first scan.
The three and a half of us went to the appointment. Husband, mother-in-law, and me with the baby bump.
What I remember from that appointment wasn’t just how exciting, emotional, and amazing it felt to see this tiny human growing inside of me. It was also how touching it was to watch my mother-in-law’s face when the baby first ‘showed up’ on the screen. She had been pregnant and yet had never experienced this moment. It captivated her. It was such a special thing to share. We were all relieved that everything went well, and we walked away clutching the sonograms in hand, smiling ear to ear.
Yet my mother in law could hardly catch her breath. She was rendered speechless by the entire experience, amazed and astonished to meet her 20 week (in utero) grandchild, and impressed by the incredible advancements in technology (and science!) in one generation since she was a pregnant mum.
Then with pregnancy number two, we completely lost track of which appointment we were going to – with busy schedules, juggling toddler child care, etc, so we brought our toddler with us. However, we had the funniest surprise at our 36 week check up. Within seconds of me laying down for the scan, the technician had located the baby and there it was, on a massive screen… a 3-D scan of our baby’s face. In an instant! Seconds after walking in the room. Perfectly clear, and detailed and so… REAL! And I have to say, it actually freaked me out a bit. I wasn’t expecting it. A face so formed, so clear, yet still unborn.
We had made great effort not to find out our baby’s sex, yet I was lying there and looking at the shape of its nose, the space between its eyes, and the slant of its lips. It was a bit bizarre, not to know the sex but to know such detail of the face structure. Incredible, and surprising. And I was reminded of my mother in law’s face when she saw our first baby. It is amazing, but almost overwhelming. It felt like the surprise had been revealed before the baby was born. It felt like a secret we weren’t supposed to know yet. Perhaps we needed a spoiler alert. : )
In the matter of three years, 3-D scans have improved significantly. I can only imagine what will happen by my grandchildren’s generation!
What did you do?… What will you do? … Did you find out what you were having? Did you want the 3-D scans? Or were you even asked if you wanted a 3-D scan? And would you ever bring the future grandparents to see the scan?
Lara. xx
p.s. – Fortunately the 3-D scan didn’t take away any of the joy or excitement when the baby was born. It was a HE! A boy. And yes, the 3-D scan didn’t lie, it did look just like him. An unexpected sneak peek.